A 12-week online program for professional women who take care of everyone except themselves
Beyond the Roles
When you say no, you feel like a terrible person. You’re not.
Discover who you are beneath the roles, nurture your balance, and learn to act from clarity instead of guilt.
Over twelve weeks, you move through the three phases of the SoulDNA Method. You’ll learn to say no kindly and without the guilt spiral, enjoy your mother as her daughter again, and feel peace in your body and mind.
Is this for you?
Tap everything that sounds like you
No right answers. Just notice what’s true today.
What changes in twelve weeks
- Your mother calls you first for every problem, and you can’t relax at home
- Guilt hits the moment you plan time for yourself
- At work you quietly take on other people’s tasks rather than speak up
- You resent the load, then feel guilty and selfish for resenting it
- You visit your mother because you choose to, and you enjoy each other again
- You go on vacation and enjoy it, without carrying her worries with you
- You let others carry their own weight, and say so calmly when they don’t
- You feel worthy of rest, love and money without having to earn them
Imagine what life could feel like
Not more to carry. More of you.
Tap each card to see what changes.
A kind, simple no
Say no kindly and simply, without the guilt spiral or a paragraph of explanation.
Tap to seeYour mother, as her daughter
Laugh, go shopping and have lunch together, instead of managing her life.
Tap to seeSteady through every wave
When someone praises you or criticises you, you stay steady. You don’t have to change with every wave.
Tap to seeA healthy rhythm
Food, sleep, work and rest in balance. No more running yourself into the ground, and no guilt for slowing down.
Tap to seeA kinder mind
Your mind becomes your friend instead of your harshest critic. Less anger, less overthinking, more calm.
Tap to seePeace
Peace, happiness, love and kindness, for the people around you and for yourself.
Tap to seeWhat this work is built on
Six truths we return to
- Guilt is not love.Somewhere along the way, guilt began to feel like love. It isn’t. And now it’s time to unlearn that.
- You are more than someone’s daughter.Underneath all your roles there is still you. And you matter too.
- You have your own life to live.Your mother has her journey. You have yours. Loving her doesn’t mean giving up your own peace.
- Choosing yourself doesn’t make you selfish.It means you stop abandoning yourself to keep someone else comfortable.
- You don’t have to respond immediately.The phone rings and your whole body says “I need to fix this.” You can pause, think and decide.
- You’re not alone in this.From the first day, you’re part of a community of women who get it without you having to explain a thing.
Everything included
What’s inside Beyond the Roles
- Weekly video lessonsPre-recorded, so you can watch when your week allows.
- Live weekly community calls with meFocused on whichever phase you are in.
- A private online community from day oneWomen who understand the role, because they learned it too.
- Deep guided meditation audiosTo calm your body and soften the automatic guilt where it lives.
- A guided journalSimple daily pages that help new habits actually stick.
The journey
Three phases, seven steps
The SoulDNA Method, in the order we live it together.
Step 1
Energy
Everything is energy and has its own frequency, and our five senses don’t catch it all. Like radio channels, each of us has our own frequency.
Phase
D — Discover who you really are
Step 2
Conditioning
How you were conditioned into the role you play, by family, school and culture, and the beliefs that came with it, drawing on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Phase
D — Discover who you really are
Step 3
The soul
Where we come from, what our purpose is here and where we are going. Beneath every role, you are a soul on your own journey.
Phase
D — Discover who you really are
Step 4
Seeing others as souls
The people around you, your mother included, are souls with their own purpose. Seeing them this way changes what you feel responsible for.
Phase
D — Discover who you really are
Step 5
Your energy centres
Working with the chakras. When the throat chakra is out of balance, for example, it’s hard to communicate, express yourself or say no.
Phase
N — Nurture your balance
Step 6
Rewiring
Daily journaling, deep meditation, affirmations and positive thinking create new pathways in the mind, supported by sharing experiences in the community.
Phase
N — Nurture your balance
Step 7
Saying no with clarity
The Bhagavad Gita’s way of saying no: act from clarity, not reaction; honour your responsibilities while respecting your own well-being; stay calm through pressure; and choose calm, simple words. “I can’t take this on now.” “This doesn’t work for me.”
Phase
A — Act from clarity
Who’s guiding you
I’m Cathy, and I was her too
I was the emotional caretaker in my family, and for years I felt like a bad daughter every time I chose myself. More than 20 years of practice with the Bhagavad Gita and meditation set me free. Over the last six years, I’ve worked with 109 women, every one through recommendation.
Dental Surgeon, Master of Public Health, Certified Hypnotherapist and Trauma Coach.
Is Beyond the Roles right for you?
An honest look
- You’re a professional woman who’s always been the responsible one.
- You feel guilty the moment you put yourself first.
- You’ve done therapy or read the books and understand why you’re like this, but nothing has really changed.
- You want to love your family without losing yourself.
- You are in crisis right now. Please reach out to local emergency services or a crisis line first.
- You are looking for psychotherapy, psychiatric care or medical treatment.
- You want someone to tell you to forgive, or to cut contact with your family. I never will.
- You are looking for a magic formula. There isn’t one here, only steady, gentle practice.
Questions you may have
Gentle answers
Still wondering? You can always ask me directly.
Is this therapy?
No. My work is educational and supportive. It can sit alongside therapy, and many women find the two work well together, but it does not replace care from a licensed mental health or medical professional.
Do I have to forgive?
No. Forgiveness is a choice, never a requirement. Some women want to explore it, and others have been hurt by pressure to forgive. There is room for both.
Do I have to cut contact with my family?
No. Whether you are close to your family, have created distance, or are somewhere in between, this work is about your relationship to the role you learned, not about anyone else’s choices.
I care for my parent every day. Is this for me?
Yes. Many women cannot step back because someone depends on them. You will learn boundaries and practices that work inside daily care, in small amounts of time, without adding more to your list.
My guilt started when my mother became ill, not in childhood. Is this for me?
Yes. For some women, this guilt has been there since childhood. For others, it arrived when a parent became ill and needed them. The guilt feels the same, and so does the way through: understanding it, softening it in your body, and learning to care without carrying.
I have tried therapy, books and meditation. Why would this be different?
Understanding why you feel guilty is valuable, and it may be why you are here. This work adds what understanding alone cannot reach: deep guided meditation for the automatic guilt in your body, daily practices that stick, and a deeper sense of who you are beneath the role.
Do I need to be religious or spiritual?
No. I share ideas from the Bhagavad Gita and about energy in plain, everyday language. You do not need any religious background, and you are free to take what fits and leave the rest.
Am I being selfish for wanting this?
Wanting a life of your own is not selfish. Caring for others can be part of a loving life. It does not have to replace your own.
When does it start, and what does it cost?
Dates and price will be shared with the people on the waitlist first. Join the waitlist to hear as soon as the first group opens.
Not ready for twelve weeks?
Start with fifteen minutes, just for you
The free guilt-release meditation is a gentle taste of how this work feels.
Get the free meditationStill have a question?
Write to me
If something about the program isn’t clear, send me a message. I read and answer every one myself.
Contact Cathy